I just got done looking at the comments I received about my last blog post and have to say that I was really touched by a few of them. The remarks that affected me the most were the ones giving me credit for being brave to expose my life so openly. I will be the first to admit that it is a frightening proposition but for me the consequences of not find an outlet for my darker emotions is a far scarier scenario. I would also like to let the readers of my blog know that without you reading and responding the way you do I probably would have given up on this a while ago and would not have gained the coping tool this bog has increasingly become and I want to say Thank You to all of you!
I would also take just a moment to talk about something I was reminded of in a comment that is a good thing for everyone to remember. Bravery is not the absence of fear but the willingness to go on despite it. When I consider that phrase I am not sure whether I am brave for doing this or desperate but I don’t think it really matters in the end. I am increasingly feeling like this forum is becoming a positive way for me to talk about things that are difficult for me to in my daily life and if I accomplish nothing else that is still a good thing.
I would like to believe that I am giving you a fairly transparent view into my thoughts and the daily grind of mental illness. Some of the discussions I have had with people lately make me feel like I might be. I hope I am right, so some good for something beyond myself could come of this endeavor. The very idea of which helps to make the fear and pain of looking at myself so honestly to then share those thoughts with the world seem like something worthwhile.
I will continue my journal in hopes of finding peace within to make peace with the world and I hope you will continue to follow me as I do so. I am almost starting to feel like this is a war journal about a battle in my own mind and the good guys are winning, Lol! Like any war effort a battle cannot be without support and I would like to once again thank you for reading, commenting, and most of all caring.
If you are suffering with mental illness and you are not getting help remember, if you’ve already hit rock bottom then you really have nothing to lose! Call/talk to someone, go to a local ER if you have to, just don’t keep trying to do it alone!